


Winter's Prince (or, Staying up until the moon sits on its throne)

by Junhonk



Category: Day6 (Band)
Genre: Angst, Epistolary, M/M, also hope ?, big sad guys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-08
Updated: 2019-08-08
Packaged: 2020-08-13 05:15:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 749
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20168746
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Junhonk/pseuds/Junhonk
Summary: Writing when one is sad tends to produce the most raw content, reaching into the depths of their souls, and pulling out what they only wish someone could see. The issue, though, is when you try to show it to someone who can't stop letting their eyes wander.





	Winter's Prince (or, Staying up until the moon sits on its throne)

**Author's Note:**

> from Jae's pov

Hello again,

Tonight the sky over campus is pillowed in red, sending the chill of winter through my fingertips and I sit here thinking of you. I'm still wearing a sweatshirt to trick my mind into thinking I'm being held. It's a satisfactory attempt at the imitation of affection, but so much time has passed that it doesn't take much to trick myself with little. My head is turned up towards the sky and my fingers are drumming rhythms onto the chair, and I should be doing work, but focus isn't on my mind. You are. You're on my mind again because I can see your reflection just beyond the crimson blanket over my head.

Sitting on the couch with our legs tangled together you pulled the skin on my hand. Watching it lower back into place slowly, I heard a soft "you need to drink more water." From above my head, and I let out a small laugh. "You're one to talk, Mr. Hydration is the menace of society." Smiling, you shifted to look at me, "yes, but it's good for you and I want what's good for you."

Water seldom changes, which is why I think you disliked it. All you wanted was changed and all I longer for was to be able to change.

We were like footprints, you making them and me stepping in them close behind you. I had fun, tiptoeing through a little path, playing games with myself while you walked ahead. But then you'd turn a different direction and suddenly I'd find I was too young and holding you back from New experiences. You would pivot and then I'd be too inexperienced, or you would change your diagonal and I'd be immersed in a culture that you detested.

Playing my games and keeping happy I lived for little smiles you sent my way once I was fully acclimated to your new path, asking you to spend time together, forcing my schedule open when you decided you had time for me. At night I'd stare out the window until tears voluntarily dropped from the corners of my eyes, feeling my efforts drip out with the sadness and loneliness. I loved you, but love shouldn't have felt like that.

I dreaded going back to our routine. I'd ask you every week when we could see each other, I'd find you, do work with you, stay up far later than I wanted to, and then not want to move in the morning. It's near amusing how I can sit and wrote with sapphire ink of how toxic we were, and yet I'm still thinking of you. I'm thinking of the way you held my head as I fell asleep on your chest, I'm thinking of texts you'd send me during the day, I'm thinking of the smile on your face when you first saw me, and of how you held me when I was finishing up my work on my own. We were at a point where I wasn't sure if my anxieties and sadness was balanced out by how you ran your fingers through my hair, but in the end you were the one to draw the line. State lines.

I've always liked stars, the idea that they try their best to be seen on Earth, but just as we see them they often don't exist, letting us watch history unfold as light teaches us from millennia ago.

Stars guided the wise men and illuminated the way for adventurers, though to me they show me that me and my sweatshirt have nothing on the world. Walking home they look like a sprinkle of salt on human existence, and they're a constant force, though ever-changing. Stars remind me of myself with you, and they're polluted by light and clouds.

I'm a small source of light, and I work so hard to shine brightly, but look a different way and you'll miss my shine, or see me from the wrong spot and all you'll see are clouds. You love the city, and are a constant source of light, so maybe you just couldn't see me shining. Maybe the bright lights kept you from noticing my light, and maybe you'll never get to see it and that's alright.

It'll be someone that likes clear nights and sitting outside in a sweatshirt who sees me shining, someone that carries me on their back through the snow, and keeps a water bottle next to their bed.

Someone that knows

**Author's Note:**

> Beeeeeen awhile !! RIP me. I've gone through so much this year yall, and hopefully after the first few months of the year I can get back into the swing of things. I found this in my notes awhile ago, and while there were no names, I hope you all could follow along just as well :)) lmk what your thoughts be !


End file.
